Sex is so much more than procreation for human beings. It’s got so much to do with recreation, lust, connection, physical and emotional intimacy and love. Yet for so many it’s a ritual that becomes boring, devoid of emotion and though sex can an incredible connection on multiple levels between two individuals the disconnect during mechanical intercourse is unfulfilling and even exasperating.
Couples go for counselling, meet sex therapists, watch porn together, get tips from friends, but its hard to get back the powerful level of sexual attraction that they experienced when they first met. What if it was possible to make sex even more intimate and powerful today than ever before even if it’s been decades of togetherness? Are you willing to try? Tantrik sex may sound over the top and perhaps even scary but it’s a step by step process over 3 to 4 hours that initiates and ignites the most powerful emotional, mental, physical and connection between two individuals. Here’s how.
Make sure you are free from all distractions, be it your phone, work, kids and first work on the ambience. Create it as calm, relaxing, warm and romantic with candles, ylang ylang essential oil in the diffuser, and slow instrumental music (with no lyrics). Get into a warm shower together, and look into each other’s eyes and the notice how the water trickles over your partners cheeks, hair, body. Caress each other gently, focussing on the feel of their skin against your fingertips and focus on the sensual aspects over the sexual ones. Take your time, focus on relaxation over arousal even if you’re ready for action. Step out of the bathroom and sit naked, facing away from each other and simply focus on slow and steady deep breaths till your minds are calm and clutter free. Take your time. Then sit facing each other with knees and hands touching and sharing each other’s emotions and energies and synchronise your breathing till you feel a mind, body and soul connection. Lie down and turn by turn give each other a long, slow, sensual full body massage with oil, maintaining contact through gentle strokes, kisses and words of love and finally culminate with a focussed gentle massage to the genitals till your partner reaches an orgasm. Enjoy the recovery process and now it’s the second partners turn. Once those orgasms are over, sit in your partners lap with your genitals touching and legs wrapped around, gazing into each other’s eyes, breathing together until you feel an incredibly powerful connection and deep desire. Without breaking the connection, slowly reposition yourselves and make gentle passionate love to each other. If the entire experience has lasted under 3 hours, you’ve rushed it along. The next time slow down every step, and each time you do, you will experience a far more powerful orgasm and a far deeper connection with your partner. Your desire to try tantric sex is about wanting a powerful union with your partner, and for sex to be way more than just an orgasm.
1. I am a 26-year-old woman and have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend since the past one year. We’ve been together for four years now and plan to get married after a couple of years. The distance has taken a toll on our relationship because my partner doesn’t seem to trust me. He constantly wants to know what I’m doing, where I’m going and who I’m meeting. This is creating a lot of friction. How should I deal with this situation?
Trust has very little to do with distance and more to do with personality and experiences that teach people to be distrustful and insecure. Ask him why he is wanting to commit to a lifetime with someone he doesn’t trust. Add that you’re happy to help him overcome anxiety but refuse to be victimised by it henceforth.
2. I am a 45-year-old woman and stay in a joint family. My sister-in-law and I don’t get along. While I maintain my distance from her, she leaves no opportunity to pull me down and put me in a bad light in front of the family. While I usually show restraint, sometimes I lash out at her. This is causing a lot of stress in the family. What should I do?
Create a whatsapp group with every family member on it and name it happy family. Tell them you would love for happy jokes and happy moments, photo’s, memories to be shared on chat. Build your position as someone caring, dependable, warm and positive. Keep groupism, backbiting, finger pointing and negative talk out of the chat completely. Whenever she puts you down, address the family on the chat with the issue seeking answers to the situation. Tell them you are open to positive suggestions and to positive feedback. Most importantly communicate to your husband that your focus is peace, not conflict and would like his help for the same.
3. I am in relationship with younger guy and he says its casual. So do I also keep meeting other guys and have him as an option or do I ask him if he is serious about our relationship?
Doesn’t hurt him to inform him for the sake of clarity that you’re going to be keeping your options open as well. And the fact is, you should. Just because you’re with someone, it doesn’t mean it’s your final destination. When it is, you will know it.
4. I am in love with a man who is already married. He flirts with me every day and has his attention only on me the whole day but never agrees to get serious about anything further. He has gone out casually with me and also told me how he is not happy with his wife but we are not going anywhere. Nobody is breaking the ice, what should I do?
Unhappy married men are off limits. They have dug their graves and should lie in them. They will always play the “victim” or “stuck in marriage because of family card” to get inroads. Just remember, if he can cheat on his wife, he can cheat on you. Find someone who is respectful of his choices and chooses a life of dignity, not manipulations.
DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author’s own.