Since folks across the world, India in particular, love to name newborn children after any passing phenom, fad, fashion, star, craze, etc, it would be a useful – or equally, useless – exercise (we all need exercise) to think of a future where current vogue terms will be common names. With this in mind, i present to you the cricket team to represent India in the 2044 World Cup: 1. Corona Kapoor; 2. Covid Sharma; 3. Virus Sehwag; 4. Viral Kohli; 5. Wuhan Vihari; 6. Pandmic Pandya; 7. Hebei Pravins Pant (WK); 8. Hydroxychloroquine Bandopadhyaya (mystery chinaman bowler); 9. Soshal Distan Singh; 10. MERS Covidia; 11. SARS Ahmed; 12th man: Chini Srinivasan; Manager: Shijin Pingle; Coach: Hans Sanitiser; Fitness Coach: Vector Ventilator Venkatesh; Spiritual Coach: Gau Mutra. While the Indian team provides some variety, Sri Lanka will be so smitten by the virus that the entire team will be based on it: Coronatunga, Coronathilake, Coronawardena, Coronapaksa, Coronakumara, etc.
In the same spirit, i present to you offerings from Bollywood. Red Virus Entertainment will roll out the romantic film Corona Pyar Hain starring Corona Kapoor (female lead) and action hero Covinda. Raj Kumar Virani Films will make a comedy titled Covidhar Covudhar, and Ameri Khan Movies will make Corona Darona, a thriller. In the south, Coronanidhi and Coronakaran will star in Tamil and Malayalam biopics, leaving Coronataka seething as usual. There will also be Hindi TV serials called Hum Bug (drama) and Rona Dhona mat Corona (sitcom).
Hollywood too will get into the act, launching Steven Spielbug’s epic Covid and Goliath, James Camera-on’s Co Vidis, and Woolly Allen’s psychological drama Id and Covid. Bruce Springsheen will belt out “Corona in the USA!” Dijney-Fixar will produce Covid and Corona for kids. Brits will make a TV serial called Jewel in the Corona. The media will not be far behind, with a newspaper called Covid Times (Editor: Co Ramaswamy) and a TV channel called Covid-19.
Businessmen and entrepreneurs who will milk millions from the crisis – making products ranging from Covideocon TVs to Covidal Sassoon shampoo – will be known as Coronapatis. South Indian restaurants will serve Covidlis and Covidiappams. At the annual science congress, Covidiots who’ve graduated from the newly sprung Covidyapeets will claim they can harness the power of coronavirus to generate CoVidyut and produce CoMutra as a byproduct. In the US, there will occur the Coronation of the Great and Tremendous King Covid the First. Finally, Corona temples and churches will spring up everywhere to appease Covid, the God-King.
DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.